Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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