Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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