how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm always down for nudity.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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