You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
