my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
