uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize