i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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