I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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