We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
