i permit you to call me
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
