Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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