so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
