fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
