My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
