I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize