I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
