we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
