So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
