she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
