i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
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