dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
