you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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