Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
