Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
