Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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