I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
