I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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