never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
