I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
