trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize