Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
