I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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