i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
