Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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