If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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