you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
