look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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