Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
