So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
and you fell through a lawn chair
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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