If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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