how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Randomize
