I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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