I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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