You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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