i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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