I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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