White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
