Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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