There is no way he is gay with that hair.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
