where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize