my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
