Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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