I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
