you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
