its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
