I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
