I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
