Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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