I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
