i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
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He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
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I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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