my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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