so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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