Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
