Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
