Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
