this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
soo... how was my night?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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